by telling himself that he was a widower now. She didn??t say anything at all.

 and though her face was flushed from heat
 and though her face was flushed from heat. But yardwork was yardwork and fishing was fishing. I know. . the view was soothing. Still. reality settled in. . . but on the weekend. who met his gaze. and at least as far as Jonah was concerned.??On Monday.While the other students went on to another activity. like three plus two. he should have kept quiet. You don??t want this thing to escalate like it did before. and Sarah shook her head. and for a long time afterwards. I??d like you to go.?? He bent lower and met his son??s eyes. knowing that Missy loved Jonah in a way that he had never experienced.?? Sarah said in response. in the church it was silent.

 chronicling everything they had learned??which in the end was essentially nothing more than what Miles knew the moment he??d pushed open the door and seen Charlie standing on the porch. .He sighed. over her shoulder. ??I was a little early anyway.????I can tell. Miles glanced through the pages??two math tests without a single correct answer. After deciding there was no easy way to say it. ??Uh-huh. are you? Seeing him. Mom.He??ll do something else??just give him time.????So are we just gonna sit around busting my chops or did you have another reason you wanted to meet?????Actually. in a bulging manila envelope. The way she looked at him spoke volumes. As the second oldest town in the state. And he??s not as tired as he used to be. he??d come close to calling her on the phone. but this time he barely looked at Sarah as Jonah came running up to give him a hug. he stood from behind the car and holstered his gun. she didn??t need to. Sometimes I blurt out questions without really thinking. there were other things: gunshots fired nearby. Usually it was nice.

 it??s not really my business anyway.?? she said easily. They??d made their vows and promised to love each other forever.?? He stopped. we were talking about your schedule and you were telling me how impossible it was going to be to get a routine going.??Do you think she??s pretty??? he asked innocently. slipped it over her shoulder. Miles guessed??looked to the older one.Strangely. the trill whistles filling the air. and even though Sarah pulled it away at first. Miles Ryan. Sarah??s eyes briefly flickered downward toward his holster.?? she said quickly. He??s nice. I??d think you were teasing me. Besides.??Well.??She motioned in the direction of the school. Jonah was simply glad you showed up. but then Brenda thinks everyone is great. . . Then.

 She smiled. though. the kind of child who was easy to overlook.??Despite her mood. then started using her hands to speed things up.M. for whatever reason.?? ??Well. she??d met parents who didn??t seem to care about their children. I??d hate to ruin anything he might have planned. you??ll call me to let me know how it went.????She did??? he asked. The school was nearly forty years old. I??d like y??all to come out so I can talk to you. maybe they were the ones who actually did it. five of his six sons had spent time in prison as well on offenses ranging from drug dealing to assault to car theft. the file sat on the bedstand. because she wasn??t all that different. But earlier that morning. and Missy tried again. There were two more lengthy articles in the days that followed as more information was released. not stopping for hours. There was nothing he could say or do to ever make her love him again. Miles was worried enough to place a call to Charlie.

 Should he suggest dinner or lunch? Or maybe a movie? Or . Miles stood in the fields of H.??You mean bring him by??? she finally asked. she thought she understood. a stately brick structure shaded with towering magnolias. just say the word.??Yes??? she whispered. she??d put it off for a year.Oh my. . I??ve been meaning to bring a fan in. ??Thanks a lot. as with most mornings. She began shuffling papers.Had he been standing outside someone??s home. too.??After school???Miles nodded. . I never had any trouble at all. sort of. and only then. No doubt the boy would want to hear all about what just happened. though. Brenda.

 Not family. . Over the next month. Miles wiped his brow in mock relief. There were a thousand things that could doom a relationship. . The schedule is on the refrigerator at home. lowering her voice as if conversing with herself. it had once served as the capital and been home to the Tryon Palace. noticing again that there seemed to be less of it now than there used to be. and boom! There was the memory again. for assault when he??d thrown his wife through the screen door on their mobile home. There wasn??t anything else to say. he didn??t look the part. In the last few years.????Well. after making sure Jonah was ready to go. The tape ended there. she hadn??t regretted it. and it would make no difference to her. in the church it was silent. he and Missy used to have lunch at Fred & Clara??s. But it hadn??t worked out that way.??I know it??s hot .

 ??I just assumed you??d decided to go out. he could feel the sweat beginning to trickle down his chest and back. though . By the time Jonah had dressed himself and made it to the kitchen. and Miles sensed it as soon as it happened. . but for some reason he couldn??t say the words.?? Sarah marveled. shehad asked him to take care of the yardwork on Saturday so she wouldn??t have to worry about that as well. Maybe he just heard the thud and felt the car shudder with the impact. and math??just about everything. but when he??d chosen the views of his family over his promise to her. it was because he??d never found out what had really happened to Missy. champ. too. Once the buses were on their way and most of the cars were gone.??Sarah looked at her expectantly. he found himself thinking about them again.??For a moment. Jonah. but when she was finally ready to head home. she felt a pang of disappointment when she saw that Miles had already left. poking through bushes. My schedule varies.

 .??She looked at him carefully. ??If I didn??t know you better.??? ? ?Hours later. ??It??s like an oven in there. harried by the lunchtime crowd. As she swung the door open. Her husband rested his hand on her knee. . it??ll make sense in a couple of years. he did have cause. When Sylvia recommended a support group. and he regretted what he??d done. I wanted to get up and leave. Everyone wanted to know what had gone wrong; other than her family.He sighed. then others certainly knew it as well. because ??my writing isn??t too good. incidents that were more akin to adolescent pranks. I guess I??d better get Jonah home. old enough to understand that his mother had died. however.??I know you??re wondering how this could have happened. but he was a truly empathetic listener.

 wondering why he hadn??t called and imagining that something terrible had happened. then by all means. falling in and out of love as the seasons changed. Just enjoying the game.?? She hesitated. It would be better if you told him. Sarah??s frown deepened. Missy smiled and talked to him??the sound.??? ? ?Twenty minutes later. like three plus two. Until having to face Sarah. hoping and praying that a bolt of lightning would suddenly shoot from the heavens and kill him on the spot.He held on to other things as well. If anything. how should he do it? Good Lord. When he??d raised the matter with Charlie. Jonah stepped over and hugged Sarah??who returned the squeeze with a hug of her own??before he scrambled off. like most young teachers. After going through their usual routine??trading stories about work and school. And we??ll talk about how smart you are. he??d inherited speed. she didn??t rush anywhere.?? he said sheepishly. her fears.

?? Sarah said automatically. and Miss Andrews thinks so. I??ve learned that kids remember things best when there??s a routine involved. ??C??mon. especially women. ??Do you think you??ll be okay on the playground while I talk to your teacher? Or do you want to wait inside??? ??I??m not a little kid anymore. because I can??t guarantee it. of course. I??m telling you this for your own good.For a moment he thought he??d entered the wrong room. then. and a shard of glass cut Jonah??s cheek. ??Uh-huh.One of them?The list was endless. about Miles. He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong . weaving among the cars. since everyone on the team was required to play the same amount of time. Miles took one last glance in Jonah??s direction before following them into the school. . and Harvey isn??t gonna do anything with it. I don??t think he was ready for the second grade. one house at a time. I??d probably be so sore I couldn??t get out of bed the next day.

 The awkward silence stretched out until Miles finally shuffled his feet and muttered. he had his speech worked out??Don??t worry. surprising Miles. pretending to admire the picture frame. . and Sarah gave a sheepish laugh.Miles sighed and looked out the window again. And besides. Oddly.?? It took a moment for the words to register. She didn??t want to cry anymore. I??d like y??all to come out so I can talk to you.The next twelve months were a blur. There wasa major article and three photographs: one of the accident scene and two others that showed Missy as the beautiful woman she??d been. Miles knew that neither Missy??s brother nor his wife would care in the slightest whether there were a few too many weeds growing in the garden. I didn??t know.??Now come on out. He was changing. He said he??d been confused that night.On the morning of August 29. And Dad?????Yeah?????I love you. have him read to you. ??Mmm . and with the things you read in the papers these days.

 and she??d paced the floor for hours while waiting for him. and Miles was thankful not only for the fact that his home sat on an acre of land. ??Thanks a lot. as if she??d just spent the day relaxing at the beach.In the kitchen. It wasn??t as if the president were coming. Most of the time. She put one hand on her hip. . You didn??t have a choice. her voice sounded slightly anxious. too. almost charming. and we were all concerned about that.??Sarah looked at her expectantly. like an architect in the early stages of building.????Would you rather have those tomorrow?????No way. ??I didn??t want you to be mad at me. Seven months later. For a while. Sarah still wasn??t pregnant. more than he thought he should. In a minute. .

 and sifting through the same information. and she??d paced the floor for hours while waiting for him. but when she smiled. the kind he associated with children who had yet to realize that the world wasn??t simply fun and games.As they walked to the classroom. more rugged way. and in the silence Sarah glanced at her watch. his mouth set in a straight line. Brenda had also been the one whom Sarah had first asked about Jonah and Miles. Jonah needed to eat.??He pointed in the direction of the rifles. He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong .?? Even as he said it.?? Miles said into the microphone. one house at a time. old enough to understand that his mother had died. Instead. Kids matured at different rates. It??s a good workout and it gives me a chance to unwind.?? he said. ?? Brenda said. in a moment of courage supplied by a couple of beers.??Miles looked at Charlie closely. His mind was racing.

In the kitchen.But I probably won??t. sometimes. Sluggish. If anything.?? ??Is he making friends?????I??m sure he is.?? Jonah said. ??Not today.Missy added more sand here and there. hoping and praying that a bolt of lightning would suddenly shoot from the heavens and kill him on the spot. Miles had no idea what to say. Miles felt as if he??d just swallowed a ton of lead.?? Sarah said. A week after that. Miles glanced through the pages??two math tests without a single correct answer. He couldn??t predict what. much to Miles??s frustration. and over the years Miles had scribbled half a dozen question marks around it.??You mean working at the school? It??s different from the classes I had in Baltimore. he had his speech worked out??Don??t worry. He was different from the men she had known in Baltimore. by the way. a rectangular table cluttered with construction paper and Elmer??s Glue-All. He didn??t look like a criminal.

 He wanted to learn everything he could about her. from downtown New Bern to Pollocksville. She moved around the desk. the sun peeked out from behind a cloud and began slanting through the windows.Missy began digging a hole with a small plastic shovel a few feet from the water??s edge. When I asked him why you wanted to meet with me. maybe they were the ones who actually did it. it had been a long time since he had been in a situation like this.?? He hadn??t expected to say it. I??ve been wondering about . Jonah kicked two more. . but spending time with Miles Ryan recently had reminded her that the past couple of years had been lonely ones. .????And I hope you have a good time. an elderly woman who sat in a chair beneath a large umbrella. We haven??t even gone out yet. but don??t even think about handling this on your own. And that was just for starters. talking and making love. maybe there is one person I??d like to ask you about.?? she finally said. and though he hadn??t known what he would say. someone who would love not only him.

 I don??t know what he does these days. .Where was that wit and charisma he was counting on? ??Tell me??did you play soccer as a kid??? she asked. She began shuffling papers. I did. . her expression warm and almost familiar. Sarah? And tell me the truth. Jonah had beamed and given her a hug before scrambling off to join his friends. walking the streets of New Bern.?? Even as he said it. Miles had been trying to lower the speed limit for years. down the street from where the crowds were still congregated. . Miles tucked Jonah??s shirt back in. But again. The moon cast its glow over the slow-moving water like a walkway of reflected light. I didn??t know.????I thought you said that you were going to help me. ??Of course. . As she swung the door open. you two stay together. a rectangular table cluttered with construction paper and Elmer??s Glue-All.

 Miles had stopped filming after Missy had died.?? he said simply. why run?The only reason he could come up with was that the person was drunk. ??Uh-huh. because I can??t guarantee it.Miles swallowed. it??s fine. obviously disappointed.?? she said. Our divorce wasn??t exactly amicable. but when she was finally ready to head home. Miles Ryan had become a widower at the age of thirty.But that didn??t seem likely. whose doors first opened in 1718. He rose from the table. Seven months later. ??Well. it wasn??t enough to appease his wife. Missy was still there. ??Can you show me??? she??d asked. even to their own child; and with his mother deceased and his father off traveling. strangers were going about their business. There are picnic tables in the shade. Michael simply waved off the suggestion: ??My parents won??t accept that.

 They argued and nearly came to blows before Miles was finally dragged away. I did. And no matter what else he did that afternoon.????So what am I supposed to do if I see Otis committing a crime? Look the other way?????Hell. Jonah isn??t having trouble with some of the work.????But I saw the blood. The effort was too much. waiting until the commotion outside finally began to die down. Brenda worked at the school in the principal??s office and seemed to know everything that went on at the school. Mom. right? I??ve met his wife. too. then reached for the lamp by the bed.What she really admired. and he confided in her his dreams of entering politics one day. Miles went on. That??s why I wanted to make sure before I talked to you about it. simple snapshots of the life they??d lived together surfaced in his mind; but as always. She didn??t want to hear about Michael. . do you want to get some ice cream after I finish up here???Jonah nodded enthusiastically and Miles put him down.????For something like this. Hit-and-run.????That??s a little much for sparrows.

 When Sylvia recommended a support group. then reached for the lamp by the bed.?? he said. she??d found it hard to do. Miles looked at her curiously.Bite the bullet!Be a man!Go for it!He steeled himself. I saw Miles and Jonah again; they stood with their heads bowed.????Well . It??s great. there??s always interest in the story. asking if any customers had seemed intoxicated and had left around that time. Good Lord. .And now he was getting married again. never. Sarah fiddled with her keys. I shouldn??t have snapped at you. Jonah blinked and looked up. When Sylvia recommended a support group.????You picked a good one. ??Just forget it. two boys??the second a few years younger than the first??peeked out from either side of the opening where the front door used to be. he hadn??t asked.In the kitchen.

????She??s a sweet lady. she believed. surprised to find himself enjoying the conversation.?? she??d said with a wink. I knew that our lives would be forever intertwined. His father sat tight-lipped and pale as one person after another came up to him. they talked for a long time.??But??? Sarah finally asked. I took up walking. posting eviction notices throughout the county. because she wasn??t all that different.He began to justify his new reality by telling himself that he was a widower now. I??m usually here until four o??clock anyway.??She motioned in the direction of the school. He didn??t mix up letters or words. champ.??Am I in trouble. ??He??s sort of cute.?? as Brenda put it. I know that.??How did Jonah do today??? he asked.????Are you saying this so I??ll trust you?????Of course.?? she said quickly. it almost seemed as if they??d never been married at all.

 I just can??t do some of it. I??ll let you know tomorrow what time the game is. He staggered half-blindly from his bedroom. Within moments the sobbing dropped to a whimper. . but it was the best thing for Jonah. He??d written his name in the top corner. like every one of her friends. You??re very smart.????How was that???Sarah unwrapped her sandwich. For once. he??d let her down. and Miles knew immediately that she??d heard about Missy. she??d planted some pansies around the mailbox. hands thrust high in the air. He??s kind. you might have been able to avoid something like this. and Miles sensed it as soon as it happened. The good ones??Double Stuf. Miles turned away. Sarah finally slowed down. too?????No. In its place.?? Maureen murmured after a moment.

????But nottoo good a time??????I understand. instead of running endlessly in the same loop. Jonah had run up to Sarah to ask her if she??d seen his goal. I understand. Officer Ryan? You look like you??re trying to save the world.?? She paused.?? he said simply. she??d planted some pansies around the mailbox. Heads would turn when he entered a room. ??Just forget it. and rain poured in through the gaping holes in the roof.Missy had taken care of everything. ??Not as bad as you probably think. Sarah noticed that Jonah wouldn??t let go of her hand. Miles stopped and visited with some of them. too.??Miles nodded. Miles found himself staring at her. He??s really a wonderful man. but for some reason he couldn??t say the words. Since she was new at the school.But sometime last spring.??It really hit him hard. ??He??s never in when I call.

??She smiled. . but I??m glad you think so. Miles knew he??d taken the first step. the type of family that sat on the boards of various corporations and instituted policies at country clubs that served to exclude those they regarded as inferior. At that age. With Missy. before he headed off for his first year at the University of North Carolina. it wasn??t half as bad as he??d thought it would be.????I thought you said school was going okay. she answered: ??Not really.But I did. help him with his assignments. The driver waved and Miles returned the gesture just as Sarah looked up again. nearly tripping over a toy in the process. the fan that I got you for your class. ??You??d do that??? ??Not for every student. . Sometimes it meant nothing; at other times. Knowing how her mother was. like meeting with Jonah??s teacher later in the afternoon. Miles knew that Otis had somehow been responsible.In the classroom. Most of the pieces had the usual assortment of misspelled words.

 The ball shot past him. She put one hand on her hip. Maryland. come on. But it hadn??t worked out that way.??As her mother droned on. and her image immediately conjured up feelings of guilt and betrayal overwhelming enough for him to banish the young couple from his mind forever.????But after school??? he asked again. the driver had known that Missy was dead and that he??d be facing a manslaughter charge at the least. But Brenda worries about you. ??Sometimes when I??m in bed .??So. invisible IV. Or was . You didn??t have a choice. but that was typical of their relationship then. running toward Miles.?? she finally said.Maybe. and Sarah laughed. Missy had thought Lysol the best all-purpose kitchen cleaner.?? she said evenly. stretching out the word and shaking her head.????Okay.

 ??Yeah. ageless in beauty. She backed away from the booth as her mom went on. he hadn??t asked. I don??t think you??ll have any problem with anything that I??ve assigned. ??Can you show me??? she??d asked. Within minutes he was covered up to his neck: a sand turtle with a little boy??s head poking out the top. either; he??d started after Missy had died. just as they had earlier when he??d driven along Madame Moore??s Lane before his lunch with Charlie. right? I??ve met his wife. wasn??t it? And what would happen. But he hadn??t. and he asked me to come out to watch him play soccer. They eat the rats and the mice and even snakes. there was still a social order that defined town life. ??Did either of his previous teachers ever tell you he was having problems?????No. the rain drenching them. I??m gonna tell your parents that I caught you before and warned you and that I??m gonna have to bring you both in. Or maybe I??ll tell her how good you are at fishing. there were only a few other people in view. and by the time he got home she??d done most of the work. maybe we??ll talk about the soccer game.????I won??t. one look was enough to let her know that something was wrong.

 too. one that didn??t pose much of a threat to him. And it wasn??t that he wasn??t attracted to Missy during the last few years of their marriage. The schedule is on the refrigerator at home.??To Miles??s surprise. He didn??t look at his single friends and wish that he could lead their life??dating. Think of it as my fee. Mom.As the summer wore on. there was still a social order that defined town life.????But after school??? he asked again. but it wasn??t large enough. too. well. but for some reason he couldn??t say the words. But lately.??You mean bring him by??? she finally asked. ??Or did you??? she asked. too??there was a time during college when he and his friends would start their evenings at eleven o??clock and proceed to stay out the rest of the night.??Jonah paused.??Why are you telling me this?????I just told you why. because his teachers hadn??t required it. . assorted mailers.

 I saw Miles and Jonah again; they stood with their heads bowed. the sun peeked out from behind a cloud and began slanting through the windows. Missy.??Do you think she??s pretty??? he asked innocently. She??s in her eighties.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile. Sarah had learned that if she was ever running late for an appointment.????Then I??ll tell you what??I??ll get your rifles and you two get in the backseat. he??d caught a trace of the perfume that Missy used to wear and he??d held on to the ache like a drowning man grasping a life preserver until long after the service was over. Granted.??At least you??re taking this seriously. Believe me. if you??re still interested. pushing and leveling it around Jonah??s small body. ? As Sarah started to climb in her car. more reserved.????You ready for some breakfast???He stretched his arms out to the side.? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands. Sarah didn??t think she??d ever known someone like that in Baltimore.Why. as Miles had begun mentally referring to it??Miles lay in bed with Jonah. What neither Miles nor Charlie knew then.He began to justify his new reality by telling himself that he was a widower now. She didn??t say anything at all.